The path towards mindfulness…

04Jun09

It all started with feeling under the weather and realising my resources were low.  I’d been hit with a couple of set backs during the year with job uncertainties, crapped up interviews, visa uncertainties, major life decisions (and indecisions!) and general stress of being far away from the friends I treasure and far from the people I love most.  Update is that my internal medicine training job is there; visa is still pending.

It is in that time I realised I’d not been meditating strongly, not been praying for about a year having pretty much lost faith in organised religion and staunch practise.  Without faith you are nothing.  But I still question and am still in conflict.  Having been exploring other religions and practices I’ve always deviated towards dharmic teachings and thus my mind is open to the eastern practise of mindfulness.  I gain alot from reading the Bagavad Gita, and practising awareness and non-duality.  Yet I maintain the need to go for catholic mass, as I was brought up doing so, and when else do you receive messages from God?  Sometimes I wish i didn’t process so much, but yet I’m glad I’ve questioned spirituality even as a child, never satisfied with the simplistic view.

Then Su passed me a book by Thich Nhat Nanh on True love, and at the same time I was reading The mindful way through depression by Kabat-Zinn et al.  It was a coincidence that they both are very linked in terms of the teaching of mindfulness, and I am now part way through the latter book.  I’m savouring every bit of the journey.

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